Its said the straw breaks the camels back. What if the camel can spread the straws about? What if the load was never going to break it? What if all your views on how the world collapsed over a year. What if you chose to adapt and bend with every blow that fell, and spin every plate that was added, and held everything together?
When you are thrown into a situation, you either sink or swim. As binary as that appears, its the cold hard truth. You can resist and fight, both fists flailing in fury, or you can just let it all work as it will. At some point, that straw is meant to break you, but it doesn’t. You choose that.
When life seems to be a glacier that unflinchingly and heartless crushes hope, you still stand, chest puffed and eyes staring the fucking beast down. I, to this day, have no idea how I managed the last year. I had no choice, and I decided at an exact point, that I would handle it.
The brutal truth is that things are often broken at the moment you give up. Sometimes positivity and hope just aren’t enough — and accepting that is the hardest lesson. But that’s what I’m taking away. You can’t always defeat the big picture, but you can stand up again and again and again.
I learnt to adapt, I learnt I won’t break. I learnt that your mind, will take you beyond, and yeah there might be some collateral damage, but with recognition and awareness these are gifts as well.
Life wants to live, it wants to continue, and it does so without a second thought. It also stops and dies. I’m now trying to figure out what made my head like this, and why I handled what I did, I hope there is something to pass on. I hope there is something positive to be brought forward from this.